Me and Karin earlier today.
Remember the girl I saw a few weeks ago, who could be a potential muse but I didn’t know how to approach her (read the post here)? Well, I did approach her with my wish to get to know her and to put her into my work somehow. She said: “Yes, I would like that very much”.
An artist has a heart within the heart dedicated only to creativity and artistic expressions – and sometimes it falls in love with a theme, an obsession, a person or a place. This happened to my artist heart when I first saw this girl. Her name is Karin, a young and promising Swedish actress. We will be collaborating with some creative ideas soon and I just want to capture her beauty and energy with my camera.
I feel so inspired. My artist heart is filled with both love and new ideas. ♥
I have never been this busy before. I am working non stop with various creative projects. I feel like I have neglected this blog for a while – but there just aren’t enough hours of the day to cover everything I want to do and say. I have so many ideas and so little time. When I think about all those years when I was blocked and didn’t make art, I shiver. I lost so much time.
I am still working on my painting and editing the portraits of my parents. It is very emotional. I can see every little detail of their skin texture and new lines I’ve never noticed before. Their faces are so familiar to me, yet somehow always new to me. They tell the story of time, life and at times they remind me of my grandparents faces. I imagine that I am able to see my own future in their ageing features as well.
I will show you the portraits as soon as they are finished. This might be something I could do – take people’s portrait (for money) and edit them with my unique technique in PhotoShop. I don’t know. I haven’t thought of myself as a photographer in a long time. But I love it. Just as I love writing. Painting. Making digital collages. I have so much I want to accomplish but the thought that I won’t have enough time for all my projects, worries me.
I can’t afford to waste or lose anymore precious time. It is after all, the essence of life itself.
It feels wonderful to be painting again. I find so much inner peace when I am being creative like this. I feel like a volcano with an endless source of magic lava. It is almost like a compulsion, the need to erupt over and over again and never wanting to stop. My home is here. In the lava.
Today I collaborated with my parents in a photo shoot. It was so much fun. When Johnny gave me the camera for my birthday I told him: “I am already working on 10 projects right now – damn you! Now it will be 11.” And I was right – all I want to do now is to take pictures. I am both a portrait painter and a portrait photographer but I haven’t had a camera in almost 10 years so I feel rusty, I need to practice on the people I have access to. My ambition is to make these portraits look like tintypes. I have been studying tintypes and wet plate collodion photography for days now. Let’s see if I can figure out how to do this in PhotoShop.
It is a grey yet promising morning. Yesterday’s therapy session is still on my mind. It was so intense and shook my whole world. “Therapy is like a snow globe” said my therapist when I told her that. “I shake your world and everything looks like it’s starting to fall apart and then all the pieces are flowing around in the air, slowly falling to the ground and then it finds peace and stillness in your mind.”
I will devote this weekend to making art and write on my Swedish writing project. I need to be creative again. It was good to take a break and to recharge – I have lots of new energy to put into my work now. Although it’s hard to feel energized when you watch the news and see all those poor Syrian kids gasping for air in the latest gas attack. Life itself can be hard, but people are choosing to turn it into a living nightmare. What is happening in Syria is truly shocking and atrocious.
My art is about the nature of the human mind, body and spirit – I wish those three components were acknowledged and respected as a whole by every human on this planet. Life is precious, we are all precious. Both wars and abuse are the opposite of this acknowledgment. Nothing good can grow where the respect, for the human life or the planet we inhabit, is missing.
Making art based on this philosophy feels more important now than ever.
I am working on The Yellow House piece and I am pushing myself to get the feeling just right. I want the house to be both inviting and alienating at the same time. The style is much more graphic and stylized than I usually use, perhaps studying graphic design is starting to rub off on my art as well.
My inspiration for the piece comes from many sources, but mostly from the rigid and primitive style of old American colonial paintings. This is my inspiration folder for The Yellow House:
I love how childlike these paintings are, their simplicity and lack of perspective or rules.
I can’t wait to see all my digital pieces about home and houses framed and ready to be exhibited.
Here are some of them:
I am positively exploding of creativity and imagination in my art right now.
But I get overwhelmed and fatigued at times. It is such a satisfactory feeling to be able to capture the images and ideas that pops up from nowhere in my mind. I call them “spiritual sketches” because they are like visions born in another dimension of my consciousness. I can’t describe how they are formed or how come they match my style so I can capture them precisely as they look inside my head. All I know is that it makes me feel free and powerful in a way. I am free to create my own worlds on my own terms – my way. I just have to stay true to my spiritual sketches.
I have the luxury of having thousands of pages in my therapy notebooks and diaries, filled with raw material for my two new collection of works. I am refining my personal mythology and adding to it, little by little every day, just by studying my own notebooks. I can see how I’ve had some ideas in mind for years, but it’s first now that I can turn them into art. Sometimes ideas has to grow and mature before they are ready to be explored and turned into an artistic expression. Timing is an important factor when you are making art based on your own experiences and emotions. You need enough distance so you can explore and study the emotions without getting caught in them – but you can’t be too removed so you can’t connect to it anymore. The balance fascinates me.