Julee

My friend and legendary Twin Peaks singer Julee Cruise just posted my old portrait of her on her Instagram! Rumor has it that she will be performing in one of the last two episodes of the new season of Twin Peaks that airs tonight in the US. Even if my name is misspelled, I feel so grateful and happy. Can’t wait to see her on Twin Peaks. I just know it will be magical.

“Julee’s Wor´ld” by Mia Makila, 2012, digital collage

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“No Stars” – Rebekah Del Rio

This week’s episode of Twin Peaks was amazing but I was not quite prepared to be floored by this beautiful song, written by David Lynch and performed by Rebekah Del Rio. I just cried and cried, all throughout the scene. I think it’s the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. If my soul had a voice, this is what it would sound like. While listening to it, I can feel my soul breathe and release all of its pressure and pain. It feels so good.

The tension between reality and fantasy

Watching the return of Twin Peaks was truly the biggest art experience I have ever had in my life. I know it sounds dramatic – but that is how I feel. The first time I had such an overwhelming feeling of inspiration and being absolutely at home in any artistic expression, was when first I watched the last two episodes of the second season of Twin Peaks. Yesterday, I sat with both my eyes and my jaw wide open throughout all the four hours of pure David Lynch. I was literally in heaven. That is my definition of heaven – to be part of a creative expression – my own or other people’s visions. I don’t believe in an afterlife, partly because I wouldn’t want to be alive in a dimension where the tension between reality and fantasy doesn’t exist. What a nightmare. I wouldn’t want only fantasy or only reality. It’s the tension that creates art and they feed off each other so perfectly.

People often assume that I enjoy watching horror movies or indulge in neo-gothic art. But it is very difficult for me to find good horror films that don’t include all the worn-out cliches and lame plots with moral punchlines. Instead I enjoy surrealism, psychological thrillers and deeper expressions. I love mysteries, perhaps that is why I am so attracted to the true crime genre.

My inspiration comes more from movie directors than from other painters. I prefer the perfect and ‘sterile’ surface of a digital piece than the physical textures of a painting. Like it is a TV screen. I like to see the flat surface as a mirror instead of the properties of an actual object. People are still suspicious of this flat surface, because they can’t trace my labor in it – there are no ‘finger prints’, no brush strokes, no mistakes or flaws. Just like in movies – or in the photographs of Cindy Sherman. It is an illusion of perfection. All the ‘flaws’ in my digital work are planned and wanted. Controlled.

I like directing worlds more than I like being transported into them. After working with Karin who’s an actress, I do wonder what it would be like to be a movie director. It comes so natural to me. I even try to direct poor Andy when he’s filming the documentary about me.

Right now, I am so filled with inspiration from the new Twin Peaks that I don’t know what to do with it. I have started a new piece already. But I feel like I have so much more to explore that I have yet to define as visions. How exciting.

I think I have to watch the four first episodes all over again. This is Paradise. To be consumed by the tension between reality and fantasy.

The language

Since I started to scan my own handwriting for my digital works, I have been inspired by the idea of incorporating words, letters and written messages into my paintings as well.

My trauma is so much about language. Words. The lack of them. Repetition. The tone of them. The temperature. Linguistic warfare.

I have always been attracted to words in paintings. Basquiat used it a lot in his paintings. David Lynch as well. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why I am so into early renaissance art – there are a lot of writings in them. I also have a soft spot in my heart for Mexican ex voto paintings (prayer paintings).

Since I was a little girl, I’ve loved to write and make up stories. I got A+ on most my Swedish assignments in school. Writing has always played a big role in the way I express myself. But in my traumas there has been this underlying threat that I am not allowed to express myself through my writing. Especially not about the traumas. Using words in my art is a way for me to rebel against this threat – and a way to break free from the invisible chains I’ve been forced to carry for the last two decades. It is my statement of independence and a way of reclaiming my artistic freedom.

“There Are No Memories Of My Crying Bed” by Mia Makila, 2017 [digital]

Sexual energy

I have been watching a very long documentary about Frank Sinatra today called Sinatra: All or Nothing and I have to say that he was just gorgeous as a young crooner. So much sexual energy. That made me think about how I’m attracted to that sexual energy in celebrities and how I’m not that interested in celebrities and musicians if they don’t possess that kind energy. I love Sinatra. Elvis. The Rolling Stones. But not The Beatles – and I don’t see that kind of sexual energy in their work. Nor in the Beach Boys. They were more about innovations. Tina Turner, oh my God. James Brown. Madonna. Prince. A lot of sexual energy.

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Even in other artistic areas, I’m drawn to that sexual energy. In the art of Frida Kahlo, Lempicka, Magritte, Cindy Sherman, in the films of Lynch, Bergman, Von Trier, in the fashion of Vivienne Westwood, Jean Paul Gaultier and in literature, poetry and photography as well.  The sexual energy is just naturally part of their core expression and it’s vital, potent, explosive and full of power and strength. I feel at home in that energy.

From Von Trier’s “Nymphomaniac”

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Patricia Arquette in Lynch’s “Lost Highway”

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