It is a windy Sunday morning and I am waiting for Nanci to come over. Since she has been living in California the last few years, I haven’t had the chance to see her since she was here last year – I have missed her so much. We have the whole day to make up for lost time.
I have also reached out to an old friend I haven’t talked to for almost 10 years. I have been afraid to accidentally invite my whole past to come back if I’d contact any old friends, but this gives me a great opportunity to explore myself as I am now – as I have become, in the light of who I used to be in a time when my life was a complete mess. Instead of running away from it all, I am now trying to mash up all the versions of myself to see if they could collaborate. Because I do think that part of who I used to be is still alive inside me, but healed and matured. I have felt like I am missing some parts of myself, perhaps that’s where they have been – buried in the past. I want to rediscover myself, deconstruct and put some missing pieces together so that I can be a better artist, a better girlfriend – and a better friend to all my friends, new or old.