The tension between reality and fantasy

Watching the return of Twin Peaks was truly the biggest art experience I have ever had in my life. I know it sounds dramatic – but that is how I feel. The first time I had such an overwhelming feeling of inspiration and being absolutely at home in any artistic expression, was when first I watched the last two episodes of the second season of Twin Peaks. Yesterday, I sat with both my eyes and my jaw wide open throughout all the four hours of pure David Lynch. I was literally in heaven. That is my definition of heaven – to be part of a creative expression – my own or other people’s visions. I don’t believe in an afterlife, partly because I wouldn’t want to be alive in a dimension where the tension between reality and fantasy doesn’t exist. What a nightmare. I wouldn’t want only fantasy or only reality. It’s the tension that creates art and they feed off each other so perfectly.

People often assume that I enjoy watching horror movies or indulge in neo-gothic art. But it is very difficult for me to find good horror films that don’t include all the worn-out cliches and lame plots with moral punchlines. Instead I enjoy surrealism, psychological thrillers and deeper expressions. I love mysteries, perhaps that is why I am so attracted to the true crime genre.

My inspiration comes more from movie directors than from other painters. I prefer the perfect and ‘sterile’ surface of a digital piece than the physical textures of a painting. Like it is a TV screen. I like to see the flat surface as a mirror instead of the properties of an actual object. People are still suspicious of this flat surface, because they can’t trace my labor in it – there are no ‘finger prints’, no brush strokes, no mistakes or flaws. Just like in movies – or in the photographs of Cindy Sherman. It is an illusion of perfection. All the ‘flaws’ in my digital work are planned and wanted. Controlled.

I like directing worlds more than I like being transported into them. After working with Karin who’s an actress, I do wonder what it would be like to be a movie director. It comes so natural to me. I even try to direct poor Andy when he’s filming the documentary about me.

Right now, I am so filled with inspiration from the new Twin Peaks that I don’t know what to do with it. I have started a new piece already. But I feel like I have so much more to explore that I have yet to define as visions. How exciting.

I think I have to watch the four first episodes all over again. This is Paradise. To be consumed by the tension between reality and fantasy.

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