Yesterday’s photo shoot with Karin turned out to be a magical experience. My vision was to capture Karin in her “natural habitat” – and since she is an actress, we borrowed the stage of a local theater.
Karin is like a delicate flower, but I see so much more in her, hiding beneath the surface. I see a need in her, to demand both space to reign and attention for who she is, who she could be and who she wants to be. This really fascinates me. Karin is so sweet and a little shy – but through our collaborations I wish to give her the freedom to explore her other sides as well. Sides that are difficult for any girl to explore without feeling awkward and apologetic. I had brought some wigs with me and decided to try to draw out unexpected sides of her through different characters. It is the same method I used in my photo projects with Domenique. Nothing happened after she put on a blonde wig, but adding red lipstick set her free in exploring the psyche of a different character – or her own hidden personalities. I loved the transformation. I could see it both in her eyes and in her body language. Now she claimed the stage in a whole new way.
After that, we were able to create magic together:
I enjoyed every second of the shoot. She really is a muse. We connect through the camera. I was running back and forth to the mixing table that controlled the light, dragging heavy furniture up onto the stage and crawling around on my knees around Karin to find the best angles. I also found a big ceramic panther backstage that I used in the shoot. It was a perfect complement to illustrate her hidden wildness. After the shoot I felt exhausted but very satisfied. Andy was also there to capture me with his film camera.
However, I couldn’t help feeling a little guilty for enjoying the experience with Karin so much, I felt like I was somehow cheating on Domenique. It has been a long time ago since I worked with Domenique but she was the only model I used in my projects for almost 15 years. I have to let go of the guilt and set myself free as a photographer. And there is a big difference between how I approach my two muses. Domenique was a model and knew exactly how to act in front of the camera, I just had to keep up with her poses with my camera. Karin on the other hand is an actress and dependent on my direction and visions to deliver whatever I’m asking for. I love how I am slowly turning into a director with her, it is a new way of thinking but feels absolutely natural to me. Perhaps I’ll be directing movies in the future, who knows.