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Spring is playing hide and seek. It is sunny. It is snowing. Melting. Sunshine. More snow. I am always sensitive to seasons changing and I have a hard time adjusting to the various climates right now. I have weird dreams at night and I remember the smallest little details. It’s not pleasant, but I will use them in my art for sure.

“The Queen” by Mia Makila, 2007

Everything I do right now, is connected to my creativity. I live and breathe art. I study art, I am making sketches, research, scouting locations for more photo projects, painting, writing, networking with other artists. I feel like I have overcome such a barrier lately. Sure, this feels like my natural state – but it wasn’t that long ago that I wasn’t making art or even planning projects and visions. I have already fulfilled my new years’s resolution to “find the pulse of life”. I feel it. I am the pulse.

My self confidence is growing. The self-esteem as well, but it takes longer for it to grow. What other people stole from me, I have reclaimed. I am still struggling with my sexuality and how to trust, relax and free myself from bad associations. But I am working hard to heal myself in every way possible. I have always used my ambition as a self-empowerment tool – it keeps me afloat even in times when I am deep into self doubt and despair.

Just like spring – my self esteem is playing hide and seek at times.

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