I try to make the most of every day now. I meditate, I work in PhotoShop, I paint, I write, I make notes about my psychological process, I talk with Johnny, I answer fan messages, I make sketches and mental plans for the future.
I believe in law of attraction and right now I am a magnet of positive energy and love. Even during these terrible times of political corruption and destructive forces, I feel so in love with the world and I feel the love being returned. Today I felt a little extra loved because of the invitation to the women in horror discussion panel, I got interview questions from a French magazine and one of my favorite artists, Ray Caesar liked a bunch of my photos on Instagram.
The art of Ray Caesar:
I am feeling stronger than in a very long time and I’ve opened up a door to a genuine happiness that I’ve never experienced before. Johnny and my art is all I need to be happy. He is such an amazing support in this inner journey from post-trauma till a bright future. Our future.
Whenever I feel lost, he’s there to hold my hand through the fog. Whenever I feel happy, he’s there to celebrate my victories. And when I am having trouble with a work in progress, he is there to remind me of what I am all about as an artist and then I find a solution. It can sound like this:
– I can’t seem to get the face right. The canvas is bigger than I first thought, I can’t look at the entire face up close so it’s hard to find a balance in the composition. I say.
– When you have a large canvas and the face is bigger than natural size, it becomes a bit abstract and you hate abstract things. He says.
– YES! Thank you! That’s exactly what’s wrong, it’s so big that it becomes abstract!
He makes me feel seen and understood, in every area, even when it comes to my work. I feel so lucky. It’s exactly like the scene in Julie and Julia (one of my favorite movies) when Julia Child is looking for the perfect word to describe her favorite vinegar reduction but can’t find one – but her husband hit the nail on the head with the perfect word instead (watch from 0:40):
This is another good day. I think I might start collecting them.