This morning I’m watching art documentaries. I feel inspired. I’m so connected to the inner Universe of creativity and imagination, shared with so many other artists. I am lucky that way, I am never truly lonely when I have this inner world of magic that I can give birth to whenever I want to. That’s why it was so painful for me to be creatively blocked for all those years, but I was never blocked on the inside, I was blocked because of the pressure of being successful.
My art is the most intimate part of me – because it’s the voice of my core. I haven’t been treating it with the proper respect. I’ve been taking it for granted, like it’s something to use in any way I can, but that is not true. It is rare and beautiful – something to protect and nurture until it wants to be released, like a flower in bloom. You can’t force it. You shouldn’t. You shouldn’t even consider it. I can see all the mistakes I’ve made in the past, how I’ve tried to force myself to bloom and release something that wasn’t ready to be released yet.
To deal with magic and imagination is tricky, because there are no manuals or textbooks. You can learn to perfect your technique, you can practice self-discipline, but how to reach the magic place inside is private and intimate, and out of reach for most people. That is why I need to treat it with the utmost respect – because it is a gift.