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I woke up feeling somewhat rested, it’s been a while since I slept for 8 hours straight. My health is improving and I’m feeling positive about things. I’ve missed this feeling. I’m soon strong enough to paint again.

I’m lucky to have a couple of weeks left of summer to enjoy without any pain.

I’ve talked a lot to Johnny lately about how I feel lonely in my art. I don’t have a context here, I don’t have a place in the art world in Sweden and sometimes it gets lonely. I have a few other Swedish artists that I know and talk to, but we are outsiders in the art world here. Johnny wrote the sweetest thing about this matter:

“In terms of stimulation for your art and for your creativity – eventually you have to find that in yourself, in your life, in the things that surround you. If you depend on others to stimulate you in this way, it becomes a crutch, something you depend on to create, but you dont NEED someone else to create. You are a very creative person, very intelligent and you look beyond the surface in everything around you. You read between lines, connect dots -this is the stimulation that is in you and for you. When you look to others to provide that for you it’s a starting point, but you have it in you to find starting points. At one time you needed them to provide starting points as you were finding yourself creatively, but i think you have grown into yourself, you are in a place where you dont need someone elses starting points, you have a river…an ocean…a galaxy of staring points in everything around you. I think you have been around people who demand that you see things the way they do and you played with the boundaries of how they saw things in the world and created worlds around them that were you within these boundaries, but you dont need them anymore.
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If you looked at a tree I know you would find hundreds of ways to use the form the texture, what the figure looks like, how it represents how you feel or how you see something in the world. You dont need someone to tell you how to look at it or that you should look at it, but if you do, I am right here sweetheart. I am trying to help you not be dependent on others when I see you so clearly and I see how brilliant your mind is, how amazing your imagination is, how you have so much to say and that you can find a way to say it through anything around you. That’s the expressiveness and the creativity of being Mia.”
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It was so comforting and beautiful. I might be an outsider with my art, but I’m certainly not lonely with this kind of love and support in my life – in my heart.
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