Burned out

I can’t remember that I’ve ever been this drained in my life – and I’ve been going through a lot of hard times before. I’ve been very strong for a long time now – using that strength to build a new life, a new and deep relationship, friendships, to rebuild my art career, a new collection of work (I’ve produced 10 artworks this year alone), to build a new self esteem and overcoming trauma at the same time for a little more than two years. Starting at rock bottom. I don’t know where I got my strength from then – but it has carried me all this way and I feel grateful to myself for being who I am today because of the hard work I’ve put into creating a new life for myself and a new skin to live in. To overcome a trauma is almost harder than to survive it. I know it sounds strange, but overcoming it means a lot of dedication, hard work and determination. I’ve come so far. I’ve accomplished so much in only a few years – but I am all out of energy and strength right now. The persistent heat wave and the fact that my health has been a disaster lately, hasn’t helped. I’m a little burned out.

My New Skin (digital)

My New Skin (digital) by Mia Makila, 2014

 

I just need to get better in my health and to rest and relax as much as I can. No pressure. No expectations. No ‘to do’. No stress. No worries. No planning. No fear. No self-doubting. No crying. Nothing forced. Nothing mindless. Nothing that doesn’t feel right. Nothing destructive. Nothing but love. Happiness. Peace. Silence. Gratitude. Focus. Self-forgiveness. Strength. Pleasure. Relaxation. Meditation. Good vibes. Healing.

Nothing except being.

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