Tears of gratitude

I feel like crying. Not because I’m sad, but because I am feeling so moved by all the love I have in my life right now. I am not used to being so loved and respected. I have weeded out all the destructive people in my life. All the self proclaimed victims, emotional vampires, the energy thieves and the people who used me for their own selfish reasons. They are all gone. Now, I’m surrounding myself with real friends, genuine people who love to share themselves with me without any ulterior motives or manipulations. I feel very appreciated by the owner of the gallery where I’m doing my internship at the moment. It means a lot to me. My life is beautiful and I feel connected to every part of it – and very connected to myself. I don’t know why my life has been filled with so much pain and suffering, or why I’ve been treated like dirt by so many people – perhaps so that one day, I would be able to appreciate love and happiness this much. It’s a big contrast. The love I used to get was either harsh, or just indifferent and disconnected. The love I feel from people now is soft, warm and magnetic. I’ve been isolated for so long but now I’m starting to open up to people around me. I’ve been scared of being hurt again but I’ve learned that what I’ve experienced in my past is not normal or natural, therefore I must trust myself to know who’s trustworthy or not. And when I dare to trust someone who’s worthy of my trust and when I invest myself in them to place their trust in me as well, I finally find genuine beauty in other people. And great friendships. My days as an isolated person is over. My fear of being hurt is fading. And I owe it all to the wonderful people who have shown me the meaning of life through their persistent love and support; to just accept life for what it is and to be kind to everything and everyone in it – including myself.

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